Community Columns_1

The House Mom Does

By GiGi Birmingham, eternal writer for the G&G

A majority of us have mothers; the lucky ones among us have great mothers, ready with Kool-aid and band-aids (not combined). These are the mothers who can ask the right (sometimes the dreaded) questions, can sniff our clothes after a night out, can rescue us from in between a rock and a hard place. And, these are the mothers who value our educations more, it seems, than any intangible or tangible thing on earth.

Hence, some of us arrive at Grier. Here, with a large faculty of teachers, councilors, a dean, secretaries, lunch ladies, college councilors, and many others, any girl could easily find herself lost in a crush of advisers with waving pens but not one having the ability to provide Kool-aid and band-aids (not combined).

So, as most of my friends would ask with mouths wide open in shock, “Dude, who does?” The answer, of course, taking nothing away from this crush of helpful adults, is that "The House Mom does!" For every dorm-hallway or house are two House Moms who switch rhythmically on and off every three days.

Now don’t get me wrong I am certainly not writing an ode to the House Mom. I have just as much resentment towards the whole lot of them as I do compassion. These ladies are here for two reasons, to comfort and to control. Most of the Grier Girls have experienced the best and the worst of both circumstances. When homesickness, homework stress, or friendship tiffs grab a hold of your heart and crush it the House Mom has hugs, words of good cheer, and a free hand to wipe away the tears. On the dismal side of things, there are the rules the House Moms have to enforce and just like any team some are much worse than others. Of course, I’m not going to provide any names, or for that matter evidence (I have to live here you know) but let me tell you when some House Moms say no talking after lights out, they really mean it.

Of course, rules are laxer in my case (my gosh, noone can see me, really), but for those under- class girls out there with the House Mom breathing down your neck my best wishes go out to you. For the most part though, these women make the whole experience better and I suppose no one was hurt by a few rules here and there, so maybe this article could be labeled as an appreciation piece. I know that even the times I messed up I could laugh about it with them later. Like that one time I was doing the Tango (a new dance at the time)in my friend’s room during study hall, ya that was a good one wasn’t it? Well, maybe my house mom doesn’t laugh about it later, but I certainly do.

So where do these fine ladies sleep? Well, the set up varies from dorm to dorm but in my case (on senior hall most years) my House Moms have a connecting living room and then a bedroom on each side. This is where students can sit, talk, watch TV, get in trouble, and cry next to the House-Mom.

Taking into consideration that this is a very one-sided piece I will regail upon the Green & Gold audience my opinion on the whole concept of the House Mom. There are regulations that I hate, for example, no talking during study hall (what is that about?), no wandering the halls after lights out (and what if I can only sleep after socializing with my neighbor?), no bringing food up to your room (don't even get my started on the travesty of this rule), not to mention the obvious rules like no drugs, no smoking, no hazing, and certainly no beating up your roommate.

So what happens if you break these rules imposed upon you? Moving away from the obvious yelling (and the sometimes dreadful suspension or even worse expulsion), there is the point system, a simple system called deportment points which determines if your leaving Grier for a weekend trip or if you're stuck inside staring at your books. You start with a 100 points and if you get below a 60 you can kiss all your plans goodbye. But 100 to 60 is a pretty big jump. How does someone make such a leap? Much more easily than you would think, missing assembly (3 points), not making your bed (3 more points), skipping class (a whopping 15 points), not signing in for dinner (3 more points) and being made to stay behind while all of your friends are having fun off campus? Priceless. All in all though the rules are pretty straightforward and with a few exceptions they are also pretty easy to follow.

So if this is true, why even have a House Mom ? Can you imagine leaving twenty 17-18 year old teens by themselves in a hallway? It's unimaginable! Not to say that my classmates and I aren't responsible people but one thing leads to another and soon we're breaking out the silly string and water guns on the hallway blasting into a full war of craziness. The House Mom is there to say, “Take it outside ladies, do you want to scrub those walls?” And of course we don't, so we leave the adventures for the outside world and instead make our beds, brush our teeth, and do our homework just as we are supposed to (most of the time).

I think one of the worst parts is the fact that each group of House Moms do what any sort of moms do best-they talk. So if you mess up say for instance my own faut-pas back in 11 th grade (a misdemeanor involving a few pranks, some baby powder, and a little too much tanning lotion) not only does one know, but they all know and you find yourself walking past their dinner table, staring at the ground, feeling their disappointment carry you to your chair. One mom's disappointment is enough but say six or seven ladies giving you the evil eye (not to mention the fact that you still have to call your parents at home and let them know your crime, something I avoid like the plague ) is enough to make someone stop in their path of destruction.

Moving along, not considering most of the above, I really am a fan of the House Mom and all they have done for me during my recent years at Grier. I remember when homesickness was my only thought and my House Mom comforted me for almost 2 weeks until I started to feel better. There have been times when I caused some major havoc on the hallway (like the time I decided to put everything in the hallway, you know, the microwave, lamp, table, into my best friends room and call it a day) and those wonderful ladies let me slide with a warning. Sad but true, my own mother might not have even done that.

So beyond all of the complaining and whining the Grier Girls do I suppose there is one true fact, do not shoot the messenger. Or more specifically remember that the rules that every student hates to the very grit of their bones were not produced by the House Mom, only enforced by them. Not to mention the fact that as Easter came upon the Grier School (or any holiday) our House Moms got us chocolate Easter bunnies and decorated the hallway, cause we all know it's the little things that count the most.

Yes, nothing is sweet without the sour and the collective group of House Moms at the Grier School are most definitely in the running for the sweet side of things. So to every House Mom doing their best to keep the Grier hallways out of trouble your girls commend you for your wonderful work, and I know that the seniors send their love and thanks. (Not to gain personal advantage here but I might also score a few points with these compliments and be able to stay up late tonight!)