The Lighter Side_1

New Curriculum at Grier

By Carley Lee-Lampshire '06

Class 647 COOKING FOR EVERYONE taught by Mr. Van Horn

Mr. Van Horn’s comment: “Have you ever found yourself alone in your house with only a few crayons, a video tape, ketchup, a never ending supply of Sweet and Low? Now, have you ever found yourself alone in your house, with all of these items, with your tummy grumbling loud protests of starvation? What are you going to do? Jump in your Jimmy and go to the grocery store spending your hard earned money (or your parent’s hard earned money)? I say NO!!! You are going to do right by what you have and make the most scrumptious meal ever! From those four products you are able to make hundreds of dinner, lunches, even breakfasts’! How? Take my class and find out!”

Books required:Physics for Cooking
Creativity Counts in your Stomach Too!
The Inside Story: How Plastic Can Become Your Favorite Dish

Caution: Parents must sign waver in case of emergencies (stomach pump might be required).

Class 847 LEARNING ALL BASIC KNOWLEDGE taught by Mr. Lambert

Note: This is a mandatory class for all freshmen. ALL books must be purchased!

Books required: European Trivia
Colossal Architecture
China Know It All
Art and the Mysteries Behind It
Fallen; Everything One Needs to Know About Government
The World in One Space
Geography for the Average Joe

Needed Tools: The above mentioned books, pencil, and a rather large notebook

Mr. Lambert's Personal Side note: “This class will be covering the basics of life that all teenagers should know. The fundamentals which shape our society! European history, how to make a shoe, what dirt is made of, every painter in the world, every language in the world, every mountain in the world, basically everything you assumed was unnecessary information which to your surprise is not! You cannot function in the world without it! I will be expecting to see you soon freshmen! This class is sure to be an informative one!”

Class 935

THE BEST POCKET TO PUT YOUR POST-IT IN taught by Mr. Ayres

Note: This class which teach you how to NOT ONLY pick the right color reminder note for you and the best pocket to put it in, but it will also explore the students' organization skills.

Books required:
When “I Forgot” Stops Working (In 12 Steps)
Where’s Waldo?
One pocket, Two Pocket, Three Pocket
The Color of Your Post-It- 6 tests to determine your emotional shade

Needed Tools: A PLANNER! I can’t really remember what else is required for this class…

Mr. Ayres Personal Note: “I would love for you to attend this class! It’s going to be great, excellent, superb, out of this world, and fantastic! We are going to learn many things…like English stuff…books, poetry, uhhh and the rest of our insightful, yet so mysterious curriculum. I can’t wait to get started!

Class 153

HOW TO READ A MAGAZINE THROUGH THE END OF THE WORLD taught by Mr. Curtis

Note: This class is NOT for the weak minded! You must have some concentration and YOU MUST like magazines (or newspapers).

Books Required: Mr. Curtis’s self-published book on: The Art of Reading from Front Cover to Back
How I Read THAT During WW2
How I Read THAT During Assembly

Mr. Curtis’s note: “Sick of being bothered by surrounding distractions? Classmates, students, teachers, TV, wars, even parents stopping you from reading that last article? Well, NO MORE MY FRIENDS! I am going to instruct you to read through the outside commotion, fireworks going off 5 feet from your feet? Not a problem, you won’t even notice as long as you have a New York Times! A large gang heading your way with baseball bats? You won’t even know with your nose in that Scientific American! Nothing will bother you in your “zone.” But I won’t spoil the secrets to concentration, you must take the class! Hope to see you soon!”

Class 546

FROM DULL TO DRASTIC taught by Ms. Fulton

Note: This class should be taken only by those looking to spice things up a bit! (Your life will never be the same!).

Books required:
Pump It Up With Shakespeare
Action Really Does Cause Reaction!
Drama! Drama! Drama!

Ms. Fulton's advice: “Bored with your life? Wish you could switch things up a bit? Well take this class and your life will never be dull again! You'll learn how to make fake documents (to, say, claim adoption, or move to Mexico), how to make rousing speeches of self -sacrifice, love, or hate, how to attract attention to yourself, sing without a great voice, cry on command, puke without hesitation, and many other important talents one must have to amp up one's lifestyle. Drama wasn't just meant for the stage, drama is a part of life! Only when you can master such a skill can you really enjoy everything the world has to offer! SO TAKE MY CLASS BEFORE THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS BLOWN UP AND IT IS NO LONGER OFFERED! (Now that's drama!!!)”